thosewhowait

Those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength; They shall mount up with wings like eagles, They shall run and not be weary, They shall walk and not faint. Isaiah 40:31

Thursday, February 28, 2008

thursday night

day hospital visit was pretty uneventful today. he got the usual 1 liter of fluids and they ran some bloodwork. his platelets are starting to drop...from 95 to 39. his WBC count is starting to drop...from 12.5 to 3.0. they are going to try to wait until sunday to re-check...unless he starts bleeding, then we are to go in on saturday.

he still has pretty rough mornings and evenings but the time in between seems to be getting a little better.

it would be hard for me to list all the symptoms and side effects he has, but please be aware that there are many. too many to list. they vary somewhat from day to day. when you see him out and about that doesn't necessarily mean that he feels well. i actually can not tell you the last time that he actually felt well. but he will "suck it up" and try to get out and do as much as he can. he has been a real trooper...but he still has many many issues. keep praying.

the twins and i just got home from the Fiddler on the Roof musical production at the harrisburg christian school...GREAT JOB!!!! 5 daughters...really started to feel bad for that guy!!!! very talented group of performers and vocals (bethany) and sound and light guys (see, i didn't forget you daniel).

getting close to bed-time...kids have "juice" in the morning. this is a 6:30am breakfast before school with kids from their youth group. like kelsey would say...it is just a good way to start your day.

thanks for checking in...

tim and tammy

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

wiped out...

...big time!

i guess that means the chemo is working. on monday we had an appt in the day hospital and his counts looked pretty good. he needed some fluids and some potassium but other than that he was good. he is having a lot of pain during and after he eats...just above the stomach area. the day hospital crew figure it is probably an area of inflammation and/or blistering and ulceration.
he has pain meds he takes that seem to take the edge off.

he is tired and a little woozy when he gets up to quick. a little nauseous at times. the mouth ulcers are coming. a little hard to concentrate. all the normal post-chemo stuff.

i am going to go in and try to work today. pray that he has an uneventful day while i am gone.

thanks for checking in.

tim and tammy

Sunday, February 24, 2008

home again...

another round of chemo behind us...as far as chemo's go this one was pretty uneventful. in thursday afternoom and out saturday night. nice.

the chemo knocks tim down a peg or two but overall it was not too bad while he was in. the worst is yet to come, but at least he is home. he goes back in on monday afternoon for transfusion support and his neulasta shot.

pray that he can stay out of trouble while his counts begin to drop. if he follows the same pattern as before his white blood cell counts (WBC), red blood cell counts (RBC) and platelets will all take a dive. as you all probably know by now the low WBC increase his risk for infection and the low RBC will increase his risk of needing blood transfusions and the low PLAT counts will increase his risk of bleeding and needing platelet transfusions.

it is a bizarre cycle.

we fix him and then we break him
we fix him and then we break him

very bizarre cycle.

we are still uncertain if this is the last chemo or just the 2nd chemo...they have yet to make that decision. when we know we will let you know.

thanks for checking in.

tim and tammy

Thursday, February 21, 2008

round #2

at approximately 10pm thursday night tim started his chemo...if all goes well he will be in the hospital until saturday evening and then will be able to come home. he is tired today...i think probably just the thought of having to do this again can make you feel wiped out.

i just got home from the district III basketball championship game (held at the giant center). i am not a huge BB fan but i have to admit this was a GREAT game...we played steel high and what a game it was. it was one of those back and forth and back and forth until the end and then we hit a 3-pointer at the buzzer and won...very exciting.

we are expecting some white stuff during the night i guess...the kids keep checking the news to see if they have a school delay or cancellation. i hope it doesn't get too bad...i would like to get back down to hershey to stay with tim during the day.

gotta get going. laundry is calling.

thanks for checking in.

(tim and) tammy

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

amazing...

i was reading a book last night and i found a quote that said: faithful friends are a sturdy shelter; whoever finds one has found a treasure.

tim and i are so thankful for all the cards and words of encouragement and all the prayers that have flooded the heavens since this cancer has struck...we are sometimes humbly brought to tears with acts of kindness that we have received from friends.

yesterday was one of those days...we try hard not to "complain" too much about stuff that is going on behind the scenes-like megs car being in the garage and the co-pays and deductions that have started over again with the new year and the medications hitting some sort of record costs...but we find it totally mind-boggling that God always finds a way to send someone our way to bless our family at the perfect time. yesterday was one of those days...our heart-felt thanks go out to the guys and gals of the hershey medical center lab who graciously gathered "stuff" (we love stuff) for us. the card contained gift cards for gas and groceries and food from the HMC cafe and starbucks...it was amazing!!!! it is still bring tears to my eyes when i think about it...maybe because none of my co-workers know tim or the girls...none of my co-workers have ever been to my house...i only work there part-time...it was amazing!!!!

we have to rank pretty high up on the list of families that are blessed. our neighbors, the kids friends, the kids friends parents, tims co-workers, tams co-workers, our church family...this list could go on and on and on...kinda like that lamb chop song (boy i am OLD)

enough blubbering for one morning...i have to head out to work. thanks to HMC for making us a part of your lives.

thanks for checking in...

tim and tammy

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

try again...

tim is scheduled for admission on thursday (again). once again we will be having the deciding bloodwork done late wednesday afternoon. the platelets are still being very stubborn. hopefully they will start to recover on their own so that we can get this chemo over with.

i have to work today...
kids are back to school today...

susquehanna won their basketball game after 4 over-times last night....go indians.

thanks for checking in.

tum and tammy

Sunday, February 17, 2008

fine arts update...

everybody is inquiring about fine arts...fred came down and tim was feeling good enough to spend the day over there watching a hundred or more talented kids perform. we had a great day. i think tim was glad that they had postponed his chemo so he didn't have to miss out on the day. so...how did our kids do??

the scale is set up with three levels: excellent, superior and superior with invitation

there are 4 categories judged: selection, communication, presentation, and effectiveness

the judges loved ashley first person essay and made some really nice comments. the one judge thinks she should see if she can get it published in some hospice newsletter because it demonstrates such hope. her scores put her into the SUPERIOR category. we were so proud.

meg sang a song called "how can i keep from singing"...it was beautifully done and brought tears to some eyes (not mentioning any names). her scores put her into the SUPERIOR WITH INVITATION which means she is invited to move on to the district level next month. once again we were so proud.

ALL the kids that went with our group can be proud of the way they performed and the way they acted all throughout the day. they are a great group of kids who are using their talents for GOD in such wonderful ways...we have artists and drummers and writers and singers and guitar players and kids doing human videos and kids there just for support...it was an awesome day. the nice part about this event is that the kids want everyone to do good...it is not a competion against each other...each person is scored individually. there is no first or second place. that makes it really nice to see the different churchs cheer each other on.

tim was quite tired last night but he was really glad that he went. we were there from 9:30am until 5:30pm. it was a long day.

we are off to church this morning and then to a 1pm day hospital appt and then to a 4pm indoor field hockey game (that would be for kelsey). looks like another long day ahead. our kids do keep us busy...but spending time with them is what life is all about.

hope you all got a chance to get out to church this morning.

thanks for checking in.

tim and tammy

Thursday, February 14, 2008

happy v day

slightly unexpected change of plans...late yesterday afternoon we found out that tims counts are not holding as well as they had hoped. his platelets have begun to drop again and they have postponed his CHEMO until next thursday. we will be doing follow-up visits at the day hospital until then and if all is well tim will be admitted on the 21st.

kelsey put our feeling into words the best: its kinda good-slash-bad!

on the good side tim is not being admitted on valentines day (although we didn't know that so we celebrated early this year)...and he will hopefully get to see megan compete in the solo singing division of a fine arts program through our church this weekend. (this is the same competion that ashley submitted her first person essay). the sectional competion is being held on saturday at christian life assembly in camp hill. plus he may be able to make some of the PIAA district III basketball championship games...boy, that is what i was hoping for!!!

on the bad side tim had himself all pumped up to go in and get this over with...it is kinda a bummer that you have to wait another whole week to do something you don't want to do. i had already switched my work schedule to fit nicely into our goofy schedule...it is funny how one little change like this can really throw a curve into ones schedule. pushing this chemo back one week can possibly affect the next couple of months. but, we have learned to be flexible because there is really nothing that we can do about it.

well...i need to get things moving around here. FINALLY the kids are going to school today. i have to work and maybe tim can stay home today and make the cookies.

hope you all have a wonderful day.

thanks for checking in.

tim and tammy

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

a white tuesday morning...

heres the latest scoop...

megan is home from florida (major weather change for her)

kids have a snow day today (goodie)

tim shaved his head last night (we had hair everywhere-he was shedding pretty bad)

yesterdays appt went well...his platelets are starting to rise (we think). we will know better on wednesday, but it appears that they are on an upward trend. he got some more fluids and his blood pressure was actually in normal range yesterday. as expected, he is starting to feel pretty well 48 hours before he has to go back in for another 3-day round of chemo. he is scheduled for a day hospital appt for bloodwork on wednesday and admission on thursday.

not much else to tell today...tim wants to work for a bit today and he wants me to stay home with the kids and make cookies...kinda sounds like a walgreens commercial...in a perfect world!

have a great day and be careful driving out there...

thanks for checking in.

tim and tammy

Friday, February 08, 2008

pre-weekend report

the day hospital appt went pretty well yesterday. his bloodwork isn't too shabby. the white blood cell count is on the rise-just in time (i think he has caught a little cold). the platelets dropped down to 21 and he will probably get a platelet transfusion on saturday when he goes back.

his blood pressure is REALLY low...like 70-something over 40-something...so they are still giving him fluids everytime he goes in to try to boost that pressure. not real sure why it is low...

we will do the day hospital on saturday, monday and wednesday and be admitted on thursday for the second round of chemo. (at least that is the master plan as of today). pray that he is healthy and strong going into this chemo. his weight has dropped into the high 120's and it is a given that he will lose another 5-10 pounds with another round of chemo. i am not liking those numbers at all.

fred is coming down today and staying over to help us out on saturday...i have to work saturday and sunday.

megan made it safely to west palm beach yesterday...her dad is soooo jealous. i am not exactly sure how educational this trip will be but she deserves a little break from this chaos. she will be home late monday night.

well...that is about it for this update. i have to go get the kiddos moving.

thanks for checking in...

tim and tammy

ps...a special HI to so many of my co-workers who faithfully sneak in and out of this blog to check up on tim. someday i hope you all get to meet him...he is a pretty good guy.

Wednesday, February 06, 2008

both survived...

i made it through a day at work and he made it through a day (semi-alone). ash was home sick but stayed in bed all day.

it seems like everyone has some sort of illness...or maybe we are just more aware since tim can't be exposed to anything right now.

tims appt went pretty well...his platelets held and they decided to wait until thursday to see which direction they are going. they went from an 11 to a 39. (but that was after a transfusion on sunday) now they need to know if these are lingering borrowed platelets or if he is starting to make them on his own. his white blood cell count is starting to rise also...this is a good thing.

hopefully we will know more on thursday...but we are predicting a second round of chemo to start on the 14th if there is a bed available. his throat is still a mess...very painful to eat or drink anything. but he does seem to have some good times between eating. energy level still low-but that is expected throughout this whole process.

megan is flying to florida for a mini-vacation (oops...an educational experience). she leaves on thursday and returns monday night. i have to work the weekend so i may be soliciting rides for the twins and/or tim this weekend...keep your cell phones handy.

thanks for checking in...

tim and tammy

Tuesday, February 05, 2008

funny...

my first day back to work is like the first day you send your child off to kindergarten...(well, most people are nervous-i think i threw a huge party but you know what i mean).

we go over everything the night before...
we go over everything at 5am...

i am working today and he is staying home alone...but only until noon. then he has a ride to the hershey med center for a 1pm day hospital appointment. i get out at 3:30pm and will meet him there and take him home. sound simple enough...

he already has been up a while...asking for stomach medicine and asking me to take his temp...pray for us today. it sounds silly but this is a nerve-racking day for both.

his throat is still a mess.
probably going to need platelets today.
probably still neutropenic.

but...he is still able to stay home and this is good.

thanks for checking in.

tim and tammy

Sunday, February 03, 2008

sunday morning update...

i believe the quote from the nurse on friday was "you are now a MEDICAL EMERGENCY". this is what they say when a patient no longer has the ability to fight for himself...

if tim were to start bleeding anywhere he would not be able to stop because he has no platelets.

if tim were to get an infection of any sort he would not be able to fight it because he has no white blood cells.

to put in perspective...an average person has between 150 and 400 platelets (these numbers are in thousands) to help them stop any bleeding that may occur. in the last week tims have dropped from 140 to 75 to 24 and today they are expecting them to be less than 10. he is scheduled to get a platelet transfusion today at 2pm to help boost his count a bit.

as far as the white blood cells that are used to fight off infections...the average person has between 5,000 and 10,000. on friday tim had 200 and was still dropping. these cells are not the type that you can borrow from someone else. these cells have to be generated within his body to be able to be useful. they gave him a shot on friday to help boost his immune system. we will be checking it again this afternoon.

so...what does this mean?

first off it means tim can't play with knives!!! (plus watch for major nose bleeds and bleeding gums, and a host of other things)

second it means that tim needs to be very careful with what he is exposed to...meaning no one that is coughing or sniffling or feels sick. he needs to wear a mask when he is out in public areas and we must hold a record for the amount of PURELL used by one family unit. no hugs or handshakes. no touching doorknobs, car handles, hand railings, elevator buttons, public water facets, public anything...he is to be like "the boy in a bubble". in addition he is to watch what foods he eats...no fresh fruit, no fresh vegetables, no undercooked meats, no left-overs. the general rule is BUY IT FRESH, COOK IT WELL, EAT IT WARM.

SO>>>HOW IS HE FEELING?

wiped out.

having some problems sleeping at night.

painful esophagus (chemo seems to have made it worse).

ulcerated painful mouth.

losing some weight.

SO>>>HOW WILL HE SAYS HE FEELS?

pretty good-could be worse.



i guess we have to remember that he is feeling the way he is supposed to be feeling for someone who just received chemotherapy. in order for the chemo to be effective it must KILL. (and that is what is has done to his platelets and his white blood cells). unfortunately it can not differ between the good and the bad so it kills all...now we need tims body to say enough is enough and start to fight back.

keep praying.

thanks for checking in.

tim and tammy

ps...thanks to all who commented on the blog or by e-mail or in person on ashleys essay. the response was amazing and appreciated.