for all those church-goers...

...ashley is going to be fine!!!!

not quite your average wednesday night. our thanks go out to all of you who helped out until tim and i arrived and who prayed even after we were gone. ashley started out walking into church youth group feeling fine and ended up being taken out of church by ambulance to the hershey medical center.

at one point this evening i had a husband and a daughter both on some wicked pain meds...within minutes they are both taking morphine!!! tim by mouth and ashley by IV. ashley was hit tonight with one unbelievably painful ovarian cyst!!!! just about everyone (including the doctors) thought she was having an appendix attack but the CT scan showed a cyst on her ovary...not quite as glamerous but equally painful for sure!!!

the poor kid was hit out of nowhere...one minute feeling fine and the next minute passed out on the floor. she woke up to excruitiating pain and nausea and sweats and light-headedness...she felt so bad that we couldn't really even move her. SO...the one paramedic that works only 14 days a year in the township happens to be the same one that picked her up two years ago after she passed out at soccer...came and took her to the hospital.

after the blood work and the CT scan and the morphine she was finally starting to feel human again...poor kid had a rough night. they let us bring her home on tylenol with codeine and we are to see her family doctor to monitor the cyst today. so far she is resting...it was kinda funny in the ER...usually I am the one who sits and explains what is going to happen and makes the kid feel relaxed...but this night was ALL DAD. (other than the actual cyst) tim knew exactly what was going on...been there and done that...

he was in the ER numerous times
he knew about the IV
he knew about the blood work
he knew about the CT scan
he knew about the dye and how it felt as it went into the veins and thru the body
he knew about the IV morphine and how it felt as it went into the veins and thru the body (she kinda liked that feeling)
he was a trooper tonight...i knew he wasn't feeling his best yet he stood by her the entire evening and into the wee hours of the morning making her feel relaxed and making her laugh. what a good guy!!!

she also was a trooper...keep her in your prayers the next couple of days. the cyst is still there and is still painful. she is going to miss school today (she is really upset about that...day #4 and she is missing already). she wanted to try it on the heavy duty meds but the doctor said NO WAY...she will at least miss thursday and maybe even friday. pray for her.

well...i have been up about a full 24 hours and had to call off work today...i hear her moaning in there so i had better get going...pray for me too. (could be a long day).

thanks for checking in.

tim and tammy

another sunday already

...this is a BIG sunday night for our kids. their first day of school is tomorrow and they are expected to be in homeroom by 7:47am. megan is a senior and the twins are sophomores...hard to believe.

even tho they have been busy with summer assignments and field hockey and yearbook i think they still get the "jitters" the night before the first day.

tim has had an interesting week...not one of his best. he started the week off with severe left eye pain (pain and double vision and blurry). he also has been having some bleeding issues with trying to get the blood thinner regulated. so...we had previously made an appt to see an eye specialist and the soonest we could get in was october 15th...they made an urgent request and we were able to be seen the next morning. they had suspected a blood clot was putting pressure on the eye but from what they were able to see, there was no evidence of any clot forming. they said there was a chance that it was all medication driven symptoms or there may be a tumor growing. so our eye guy is going to talk to our cancer guy and sort it all out. we suspect that an MRI is right around the corner.

tims stomach has been giving him much grief. could be the drop in the steroids or any number of other things. he just hasn't had one of his better weeks...he did get into work some and out to golf some (thank you kevin). he is not sleeping the best and seems to run out of energy a bit quicker than he would like...but he is still going!!! he was able to get to see the girls play field hockey on saturday at a camp hill play day...6-twenty minute games in a four hour period. that took a lot out of him but he loves watching the girls play.

wondering what we are going to do this week...no kids...no olympics...no little league world series...

keep praying.

thanks for checking in.

tim and tammy

i know...

...it has been a whole week without a blog update...i apologize to all you blog-addicts out there.

tim is doing pretty well...

he has a few side effects from the switching over to coumadin (blood thinner). unfortunately his platelets have started to drop the same week we are switching him to the coumadin and he is experiencing some minor bleeding issues. nothing requiring a transfusion but more of an annoyance. if he bumps his hand or arm he will either bleed or else form these ugly looking blood blisters. an occasional nose bleed or when he brushes his teeth his gums will bleed...stuff like that.

he needs to be on some sort of blood thinner because of his ablity to throw blood clots every so often...he has had three that we were aware of and that will require him to always be on blood thinner. we are entering into uncharted water with not having the chemo anymore and we are unsure how long it will take for the platelets to finally stabilize.

as far as the steroid drop...he is still hanging tough. it is going to be a rough road. my favorite explaination to this dilemma is that we are in a "catch 22". he was put on the steroids to help shrink the tumors and to give him some relief in his stomach. leaving him on the steriods is causing other side effects that we wish to avoid...so we are weaning him off the steroids and will wait and see what happens. long term high dose steroid is dangerous but so is reverting back to growing tumors and not being able to eat...we are going to have to re-evaluate the less of the many evils and make the decision as to what level to stop the drop. we will be monitoring his eyes and his tumor growth and his stomach issues and his joint pain and anything else that clumps into that very long list of steroid issues.

so...how has our week been...i think better than expected. he has moments of tiredness where he just needs to sit and rest and he has waves of an unsettled stomach (mostly later in the day) but overall he has been pretty good. he has been able to make it to some softball games, watch the olympics, watch the little league games, attend a friends birthday party, go to church (he actually made it to sunday school and church today), take a friend out to dinner, spend the weekend here visiting with his dad and the in-laws...pretty decent week.

i will update when i have anything new to say or at least every sunday night. i feel that if i update anymore than that it will grow into a reality tv show...just in blog form. i feel so wierd updating this blog when i don't really have any "medical" updates but i guess i need to remember that this whole adventure has been more than just medical...it has hit about every avenue one could think of and then some more.

i have said this before and i will probably say it again after tonight...we so much appreciate all of you out there in cyberspace...this blog site has not only helped you all stay in touch but in so many ways it has helped us. (i would have to admit it has been a huge blessing to me probably even more than tim but don't tell him that).

thanks for checking in.

tim and tammy

i know you are all waiting...

...he was only 1 hour behind schedule today-that is not too bad.

we had not been in the clinic to have a real sit-down appt with our doctor since mid-january. we were a little tense going into the meeting but once we were there it actually went pretty well (considering).

some of the high-lights of the meeting:

-we are going to start to drop down on the steroid level (kinda scary but tim is having some eye issues and the doc thinks it may be related to the steroids).

-we are able to wean off the lovenox (heparin shots) and switch to the coumadin blood thinner (giving us a huge savings of over $400 month in pharmacy co-pays).

-the doc says the cancer seems to be stable for the time being and that it is fine with him that we are taking a break.

-when we asked him about time-lines he said that it would be IMPOSSIBLE to predict. it will depend on how and when the cancer presents itself...the cancer is still in there in multiple tumors but not very active at the moment.

-if a tumor decides to begin to grow and is giving him lots of pain they could try to radiate it and shink it abit.

-if a couple of tumors get active and he wants to try more chemo they would be willing to give it a try but won't really give any promises other than to maybe slow it down abit.

-if all the tumors become active and crazy all at the same time it would be doubtful that they could do anything for him.

-the quote of the meeting was "so late in the game". being that the cancer has multiple relapses and has been treated with multiple chemo's and keeps changing the way it is acting so many times...it is impossible to predict how it will act and when it will act. numerous times he mentioned the fact that it was "so late in the game". i think we GET IT>

-he said for now we will wait until it presents itself and then we deal with it.

so...we are now in the mode where we make changes to help tim feel his best and get stronger and we only have to see the doctor every 4 weeks as long as all stays quiet. we will go through our transplant coordinator for anything funky. pray that he can make the drop in the steroids without hurting anyone...those things are wicked to come off of.

overall i think the meeting went well...remember this is the doctor that just lost his wife a month ago to cancer...he knows where we are more than anyone.

right now...life is good. we take the advise of a friend and wake up everyday thanking GOD for his miracle in tims life. it is truely a miracle that he is still here with us and we need to enjoy and appreciate each and every day that we have together.

thanks for checking in.

tim and tammy

going well...

i guess when it is almost a week between blogs that is a good thing...things are going well and tim is making his rounds through the state. he has been to PITT (with megan) and BERWICK (for a wedding) and SELINSGROVE (to golf). then between the (pre-season) pro football games and the olympics and the little league games he is one happy camper watching sports on TV.

this will be a short blog update...but i will be updating again in a day or so. we meet with the big boss monday morning (the head oncology guy). this will be the first time we have actually had a sit-down with him in a long while. we are a little nervous which direction this will go...if you are up and reading this before 9:30am say a little prayer for us. there is SO MUCH for us to talk about and hash out...

megan and kelsey start pre-season "two a day" mandatory field hockey practices at 6:30am. that should be FUN.

we will be in touch.

thanks for checking in.

tim and tammy

we survived...

...monday was back to reality day. no more watching the sun set over the bay and the dolphins swim past the hotel.

...back to grocery stores and mounds of laundry and wondering how we could have possibly brought this much sand back from maryland.

...i was back to work and tim spent the whole day in the office also. he is getting stronger each day and although he still has quite a few "issues" he is doing very well. his blood work came back wonderful.

...today the kids are dragging us to knoebels. we will ride the train and go in the haunted house then we we will sit on a bench in the shade and listen to music and eat funnel cakes and wonder when it was that we became OUR parents!!! we have definately slowed down a few steps and if you have eaten with tim lately you know that you need to double the time spent eating. but we have found that it is not really a bad thing...he has decided that he actually likes to sit and "people-watch".

...tomorrow it is off to the university of pittsburgh for megan to tour the campus. yes...she is a senior this year and is going around the state looking for that perfect college. (she claims that she has wanted to be a NITTANY LION since she was two...but she is keeping her options open).

...thanks for checking in

...tim and tammy

an amazing week...

...i know that it has been a week since my last post but it has been crazy around here.

we started out hoping for tim to feel good enough to spend a couple days at the beach and what we got was a bit more...

saturday he helped me mow the grass...first time he has felt strong enough to do that in a long time. then he went golfing with my family and because the central line was out he was able to even swing the club a few times. then we just hung out and visited with family and friends the rest of the night. it was a great day.

sunday morning we headed to the beach...he was able to drive the whole way down and we were able to stay until wednesday. it was a great trip and although his stomach gave him a few fits...he was able to relax and enjoy the time away. we had the twins with us and they had a blast. YES that is them parasailing 800 feet over the atlantic ocean.

on the way home from the beach we stopped in lancaster to shop a bit and wednesday night he was able to go and watch 2 softball games in palmyra.

i know that he is PUSHING himself to be able to do all that he can, but it is nice that he has the desire to get up off the couch...it has been a very long time since he has actually had the energy to do something like this.

friday was the big day...taking a teenage daughter to KING OF PRUSSA to shop for school clothes...now that is a LONG DAY. he hit an awful lot of the benches along the way but he was a real trooper. we just got home a little before 11pm.

we are in this kinda weird place right now...he is trying to do everything that he thinks we want to do and we are wanting to do everything that we think he would like to do and we are all exhausted. i think we are going to have to call a family meeting and sort this all out.

it is odd to always be thinking that "this might be the last time he gets to do this or see that..." in some ways it is a cool way to approach every day and in other ways it is an exhausting way to approach every day. we want things to be as normal as we can make them for the kids, especially with fall sports starting and school right around the corner.

keep praying...i am much more emotional that i would want to be. i tend to read into things and i watch him and see the way he looks at the girls and at me and i know what he is thinking and it makes me sad. i cry alot. we are in a strange place right now. we still pray for a miracle everyday but we have given this whole situation over to GOD. it is in HIS hands and we are just following along not quite sure exactly where it is heading.

thanks to all who have helped us have such a wonderful week...i head back to work on monday. we could not have gotten away if it were not for the very generous friends that we have out there in cyberspace. we love you all.

thanks for checking in

tim and tammy