thosewhowait

Those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength; They shall mount up with wings like eagles, They shall run and not be weary, They shall walk and not faint. Isaiah 40:31

Thursday, May 31, 2007

another day of nausea...

if we could just get tims stomach to behave i think he would be feeling pretty good. all the symptoms that they look for while being neutropenic (low white counts) like fevers and chills and infections and ulcers etc...he has none. they just can't seem to stop the stomach issues which messes up his blood work, makes him not want to eat and he keeps losing weight (down to 128 pound yesterday). they have him on 3-4 anti-nausea medications at various times. some are self-dissolving, some are IV and some are in pill form. some of this stuff is like GOLD (just one of his stomach medications costs us about $200.00 for a 14 day supply which isn't too bad i guess since without insurance it would cost $1,100.00 for a 14 day supply). they can't seem to pin-point why he had been so sick. we know that the chemo will cause people to get sick, but he was sick before, during and after the chemo.

this morning we are going to try taking his stomach medication before he gets out of bed and staying there for a bit...i told him he is acting like he has morning sickness!!! (crackers by the bed stand).

yesterday he got platelets and magnesium...they are wanting him to take some oral magnesium also...more pills...great!!! he got sick between the van and the med center yesterday. the pills go in and the pills come out.

well...we are going to day hospital at 9:30am again. (yesterday we were there until around 3pm)

CONGRATS to kelsey for getting the 8th grade student of the year in physical education...she made her dad proud!!!! (and mom too).

thanks for checking in.

tim and tammy

ps...HELLO to all my hershey lab budddies. thanks for keeping tabs on us. you guys are great!!!!

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

the big N...

yes, after that wonderful update yesterday tim got sick on his breakfast and felt really crappy all day long. the NAUSEA is back...yuk!!! he pretty much slept most of the day-like from 2pm when we got home from the hospital until 9pm when he woke up to watch HOUSE with megan. then he went to bed!!

we are hoping for a better day today.

we are back at the day hospital at 9:30am this morning. his platelet count was just over the borderline so they gave him a day off of receiving platelets, but we will probably need some today.

well, the countdown is on for the kids and school...lots of end of year projects due this week and then this weekend the cramming for finals. tonight we have a middle school awards assembly...i doubt tim will be able to go because of the crowd plus he hasn't felt the best...this is what bothers him the most about being sick (missing out on the kid-stuff).

well, gotta get moving. pray that tim has a better day today.

thanks for checking in.

tim and tammy

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

not much new...

...back to the day hospital this morning for platelets, potassium and magnesium (at least).

we have been spending about 4-5 hours a day at the hospital...overall it has not been too bad. there is an awesome group of nurses there that help make the hours go faster. if tim gets platelets then they have to give him benadryl...we give him the pill and say good night!!! he gets a nice nap in on platelet days (which has been every day except one so far i think). i should start taking my pillow along and nap with him.

well, short one this morning...gotta get the kids to school and tim to hershey.

thanks for checking in.

tim and tammy

Sunday, May 27, 2007

memorial day weekend...

although we are spending a decent portion of each day at the hospital we are still managing to have a good holiday weekend. tim is getting stronger each day and has been eating better and actually craving certain foods. the weather has been great for tim to get out a bit and the kids are still getting to do pretty much what they had planned for the weekend.

overall it has been a good weekend.

tim has reached that "neutropenic" stage where CAUTION is necessary. his white blood cell count is very low and he needs to wear a mask when out and about and watch what he eats. the whole family is using purell constantly. he pretty much just goes back and forth to the hospital. he watches a lot of sports. we have gone from car racing to boxing to tennis to lots of baseball. but he feels a little better each day which is good. today was the first day that he didn't need platelets...this was a good thing.

well, laundry is calling...

thanks for checking in.

tim and tammy

Saturday, May 26, 2007

all is quiet...

...just a quick note to say HI. tims weekend so far is improving a bit. his nausea is still around but he has limited the actually "getting sick to his stomach" to only once or twice a day. he seemed to eat much better yesterday. he actually requested his 'ole favorite from cracker barrel: biscuits and gravy.

he has a day hospital appt this morning at 10am.

his counts are expected to crash within the next couple of days...this is the crucial time...we need to stay infection-free this time!!! the staph infection hit him last time within the next 48 hours. NO INFECTIONS this time round...that is his goal!!!

we will not have a true update on the BIG PICTURE until we meet with the head honcho...june 8th. right now we are just dealing with the day to day recovery stuff.

have a great weekend...

thanks for checking in.

tim and tammy

Friday, May 25, 2007

another holiday weekend...

artfest and hersheypark and a chorus trip to broadway and softball and of course the most important thing this weekend: opening weekend of the pirates 3 movie.

it looks like a beautiful weekend to get out and enjoy something...my kids certainly are trying to fit a bunch in.

tim and i will be doing the daily hospital visits over the next few days...we go in at around 9am and stay anywhere from 4-7 hours on a normal day. it is sort of a bummer, but it could be worse. at least this way he can get out for a bit in the evenings if he feels up to it. he has been able to go outside for a stroll around the yard a bit.

we are scheduled for everyday for the next 8 days or so to go in for IV fluids and potassium and magnesium and if needed, platelets and red cells. (yes the day hospital is open everyday of the year, including weekends and holidays) plus they will be doing daily labs to make sure everything else is OK. platelets are on shortage right now...all patients getting platelets need to be approved by the pathologist plus even if they are approved they only receive a half a dose. tim will get approved because of the blood clot issue and the post chemo issues but pray that we have a few really good blood drives today before the holiday weekend. we spend our days with a lot of patients who need blood products.

well, time to get the kids to school. enjoy your holiday.

thanks for checking in.

tim and tammy

Thursday, May 24, 2007

home...

well, we survived the night. i never know whether to say it was a "short night" or a "looong night". but either way i am glad it is over. I had to hook him up to the IV antibiotics at 10:30 last night and that was a real struggle for him...he actually had to sit still for one hour!! he has constantly been roaming around the house...not really doing anything...just roaming.

he is glad to be home but he still feels pretty crappy...i think he has been sick atleast 3 times maybe 4 since last evening. we have a 10:30am appt in the "day hospital" for a tune-up (their terminology not mine). hopefully his stomach will settle a bit more today. in addition to his hospital appt this morning, kelsey has a 8:45 eye doctor appt this morning (that i already had to cancel twice) and meg has work from 3-5pm and ash has a chorus concert tonight at the middle school. pray that he gets through the day OK...he thinks that now that we are home i can just "hang" with him...as you can see that is not really going to happen today. he needs a CALM day.

well...gotta get this day going.

thanks for checking in.

tim and tammy

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

mid-afternoon update...

we are home.

i think it is a good thing.

in the past 28 days...

22 days tim has been an inpatient (two separate admissions)
5 days tim has been an out-patient in the day hospital
1 day tim has spent home

i think it is a good thing.

well, off to the pharmacy...$$$$

thanks for checking in.

tim and tammy

i went back...

to read some of the "older" blog entries...some of them i could just copy and paste on todays update. we have reached the part AGAIN where the "chemo-brain" has set in. i would have to say that this is the HARDEST part for me to work through. i know that this is a temporary thing and that he will come back to join us here on this planet, but in the mean time it is tough. he gets things all jumbled up and gets very frustrated although i doubt that he will remember much of what is going on over the next couple of days. he can't remember the day or the month or the year. he still knows me and his date of birth...that is a good thing i guess. he is 50/50 on who the president is...sometimes he knows and sometimes he isn't sure.

they were still planning on sending him home today, but if he had a rough night they might still change their minds. i wouldn't mind if they kept him another day or so, but i think the insurance company is probably itching to get him out of there plus they will need his room for another chemo patient soon.

his last radiation treatment is today. he electrolytes are doing some bizarre dive...he is constantly getting fluids and potassium and magnesium and all sorts of stuff that comes in little bags. they are always hanging something else on that IV tree of his.

well, time to get the kids to school and head back to my post. i will update when i can.

thanks for checking in.

tim and tammy

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

good morning...

it has been hard to send out accurate updates because things change about every 4 hours or so...

one doctor will come in and say go home and another one will come in and say stay. i am not sure that tim really cared too much yesterday. the last day of this proticol of chemotherapy really throws him for a loop. he is so sick to his stomach that they are giving him about 4 different anti-nausea medications throughout the day...each one packs enough stuff to put an elephant to sleep so tim has been spending the last couple of days in a "zombie zone".

he has two more radiation treatments, one today and one tomorrow. the thoughts from the staff yesterday were that perhaps since he is so sick, they should wait and send him home after his last radiation treatment on wednesday...i was fine with that and he just nodded and went back to sleep. i am not sure he even really knows what day it is anyway but only because we have put him in that state...for the most part things are looking good. we just have to get him past this bad nausea phase and things should be better.

when he does come home this week we have home health ready to come in and deliver IV antibiotics that he will need to be on plus he gets two shots in his stomach each day which i can give (these are for his blood clot). we will have to go back to the "day hospital" pretty regular for transfusion support (platelets and red blood cells as well as potassium and magnesium and other fluids to keep him hydrated).

we have not learned anything new about the next phase...i guess they are trying to get him past this phase first.

thanks for checking in.

tim and tammy

Sunday, May 20, 2007

Hello.

My mom hasn't had a chance to get on here in a few days so here's a brief update to hold you all over. My dad's on his last day of chemo, hopefully for a long time, and things are going pretty well. He's very tired, but that was expected with all the drugs they're pumping into him. His face is really clearing up which is a good thing but he's been retaining some fluid these past few days so they may need to give him lasix to take care of that.

Also, there is a chance he could come home tomorrow, but no one can really be sure. My mom will go into some more detail when she can.


Thanks for checking up on us,
Megan

Friday, May 18, 2007

another weekend approaches...

well, tim FINALLY got his chemo last night...there was a minor delay in the chemo pharmacy but they eventually brought it up. they started his PRE-CHEMO stuff at about 10pm so it was probably around 2am when they finished.

he is going into this round of chemo pretty tired and run-down already. pray that he has the energy to deal with all the "stuff" associated with these wicked drugs. he needs to get about 4 more doses of radiation also before they re-evaluate the big picture.

he seemed pretty good last night when i brought the girls in to see him...but he called last night and he was exhausted!!! please pray specifically that he can EAT. his taste is all screwed up and his nausea has also picked up a bit.

well, i have to get the kiddos moving...fridays are always tough in this house.

thanks for checking in.

tim and tammy

ps...one more major prayer request. tim is not aware of this but as of today i am officially OUT of paid time off. i have been approved for a PTO donation program at the hospital where co-workers can donate some of their vacation time. i did this last time and people were very generous. (but it is approaching summer time and everyone has vacation plans of their own plus i am not very good at solicitation). some people have already asked about the donation program so i am sure that i will be OK for a while, but i have to admit i am a little nervous this time round. when the PTO option runs out they will allow me to take a 45 day unpaid leave of absence. hopefully we will not have to get to this point.

Thursday, May 17, 2007

chemo #2

if all goes as planned tim should be starting his second round of chemotherapy today. he is also on his 6th dose of radiation (getting a total of 10). he seemed a bit better yesterday...his stomach was somewhat unsteady, but not enough to make him sick.

we have changed rooms again...this is his third room since he was admitted last monday. he is now in 6217 on the east hallway. this is where the chemo certified nurses hang out. if this goes like the last one his first 4 days are pretty uneventful!!! it was that 5th day that threw him for a loop.

he is hoping for a monday evening discharge...i guess that is his new goal.

i will update as i can.

thanks for checking in.

tim and tammy

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

happy birthday girls...

yes, the twins are 14 today. hard to believe. tim called this morning to wish them a happy birthday. last night we took him down a piece of birthday cake to celebrate although he was too sick to eat it he was glad we popped in. i am SO PROUD of all three of my girls. they have had a very unusual last 2 years and we have come through many hills and valleys together. they have been real troopers. when stuff like this happens it can really mess up a family but i actually think that we have become much closer and have a greater respect for one another. tim and i vowed early on that we would do everything that we could to keep the ball rolling...hard as it has been i think they are going to be OK>

tim still wasn't feeling very well last night. low grade fever last night but said it was gone this morning.

tomorrow we are scheduled to start his chemo...i bet he could just cry!!! we finally got his counts back up and they are ready to bring him back down in the danger zone again.

well...gotta hit the road.

thanks for checking in.

tim and tammy

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

trump always wins...

our doctor that has been following tim for the last week or so told tim last night that he may get to come home...but this morning he came back in to apologize because our oncologist that is the main say said NO WAY!!!!

needless to say he was very discouraged. missing another twin birthday. (they turn 14 tomorrow)

he is having a rougher day today...not only mentally but also having some nausea again and fever and chills (more chills than normal). today was radiation #4 out of 10. he is still on track for the chemo to be given on thursday. his room was moved last night...now he is down the 6IMC hall (south hall) and #6242.

thats all for now.

thanks for checking in.

tim and tammy

Monday, May 14, 2007

he MAY be coming home...

it is not a "for sure" thing but the docs have decided that perhaps he could come home for 36 hours before coming back in for his chemo. i think it will do him good to get out of the hospital for a day or so.

he is still on all his IV meds...i am under the impression that they are all being switched to oral except the vancomycin which i can give him at home. his fever is only "low-grade" today so i think they decided that it would be good to get him out for a while. i will still have to take him back in on wednesday and thursday for his radiation treatment. on thursday we will probably stay over there and wait for a room.

keep in mind that this is just a "thought" tonight. the actual discharge is a ways away.

thanks for checking in.

tim and tammy

Sunday, May 13, 2007

happy mother's day

once again the card that i got my mother this year is humorous...i don't deal with "mushy" very well these days (come to think of it i have never done "mushy" very well). but regardless of what the card says my feelings towards my mother haven't changed. i have gotten so many comments and cards recently making notation to the fact that i am "strong" or "amazing" or "i don't know how you do it"...all i can say is that i am what i am today because of my mother...THANKS MOM>

i am also aware that there are a multitude of other mothers out there that are helping me get through the day to day stuff...from playing taxi cab service, to loaning me your handy man husbands to fix things, to sending stuff to the house, to making sure that my kids were able to buy their mom a mothers day present, to putting a card in the mail, to just calling and saying HI how are you doing and what can i do for you and we are praying for you...THANK YOU FRIENDS>

as far as a TIM update...he is doing a bit better. he is still getting the evening fevers which is what is keeping him in the hospital. he has been in since monday...a very loooong week. the short version of his progress:

-the skin staph infection is clearing up
-the blood stream staph infection appears to be clearing up
-we have not gotten the ECHO results of the heart back yet to see if the infection had settled in there yet.
-he had a rash outbreak due to an allergic reaction to an antibiotic (which we thought at first was GVH but now they say not) he itches-a lot.
-he is still on pain medication
-he is still on stomach medication
-he is still on three antibiotics
-he is still on anti-viral medication
-he is still on anti-fungal medication

and for some reason that they are not sure about he still spikes a temp every evening. they are telling us that he must be "fever-free" for two days before they will let him come home. he is still on schedule for his second round of chemo this thursday...i am not sure he will get home before then or if they they will let him get chemo with a fever?? his blood counts have finally started to rise on their own which is good. maybe that will help take the fevers away. he is eating a little better-he requested applebee's last night which was a huge step. so...each day appears to get a little better.

we will be updating as we know stuff...

hope everyone has a wonderful day...

thanks for checking in.

tim and tammy

Friday, May 11, 2007

2am...

well, i have just spent the last 8 hours with a sick puking teenager!!!! kelsey has picked up some wicked stomach virus.

i wasn't able to get back to the hospital last night. when i talked to tim he seemed better. his stomach hasn't been upset for over three days now...his pain seems controlled. the last i talked to the doc's they were going to make some medication changes.

hopefully she will settle a bit this morning and i can run over and check things out in person.

it has been a long day but as far as tim is concerned i think we may actually be getting a bit better.

i will keep you all informed when i can.

thanks for checking in.

take a nap sometime today for me if you can.

tim and tired tammy

Wednesday, May 09, 2007

update on tim...

...someone said something to me today that made me realize that i have been updating everyone on symptoms and stuff but not really on tim.

tim is being kept in a very "happy place". they have him on a pain management pump that delivers pain medication all throughout the day and night. they are also giving him a large amount of stomach medication throughout the day and night which seems to be calming him down a bit. when he is not being poked and prodded he mostly wants to sleep.

he has a sore nose with a large blister on top and two sore spots on his neck (one of which they took a biopsy and left two stitches). the spots on his neck are very sore and tender to the touch. his tumors in the inside of his chest area are still causing him some pain and tomorrow he is starting radiation for pain management.

the blood clot in his lung has been no problem, other than the fact that he doesn't like the shots that he gets in his stomach to thin his blood.

today he received platelets and tomorrow he will get two units of red blood cells.

he is tired of all the doctors coming in...being at a teaching hospital is somewhat trying at times but necessary. right now he is being seen by: hematology/oncology doctors (usually 6)
radiation therapy doctors
infectious medicine doctors (always 4)
GI doctors (usually 4)
dermatology doctors (always 5)

he is still running fevers of about 102, but he doesn't seem to have as many chills as he did on monday.

so...that is about it. nothing really startling or new today.

thanks for checking in.

tim and tammy

Tuesday, May 08, 2007

i imagine that...

each day you come here hoping that i have good news to report. (i think you may have to check again tomorrow).

do you remember a time when PE stood for gym class???

well, unfortunately that is not what we are talking about tonight. YES...can you believe that they discovered a pulmonary embolism ?? (a rather large clot) in his right lung. they seem to be more concerned with where it came from than the fact that it is there...i am stressing a bit about the fact that it is there!!

they also took a biopsy of a mass in his neck.

there really is nothing more for me to say tonight...i am very tired...very very tired.

thanks for checking in.

tim and tammy

Monday, May 07, 2007

not a great day...

tim ended up back in the hospital today. (not just the "day hospital" but the overnight hospital).

sunday night he started not feeling very well and by the mid-morning he had developed quite a list of symptoms. i will not bore you with all the details but he is a hurting puppy.

the short summary of the day...FEVERS are back along with the newest addition A STAPH INFECTION. we have kept him infection-free for about a year and a half and within 12 hours he developed a HUGE staph infection (mostly on his face). he also is still very NAUSEOUS and still in extreme PAIN. he has a few more tumorish looking things growing in his neck that could be cancer or staph.

when i left him tonight he was on 3 antibiotics and PCA pump full of pain medication and a nice continuous flow of anti-nausea medicine. my best guess is that within a day or so he will be on that nasty nutritional stuff if he still isn't eating. he really is a mess tonight. he has no spleen and no white blood cells to fight off the infection so the antibiotics have to work!!!

before i left tonight they had just done an MRI looking for brain tumors...we will get those results tomorrow i guess. they are going to call in the gastric guys to look at his stomach (probably a scope will be done tomorrow) and the dermatology guys and gals were already in to poke and scrape and culture. and he just lays there and is so polite and patient and agreeable to whatever they tell him...i am not sure that i could be that way for this long.

well...sorry for the bad news tonight. all i can say is to hold steady and keep praying. last night he was telling me that sometimes he has a problem praying on these really rough days and i assured him that it was OK because he has a host of intercessors out there praying for him.

thanks for checking in.

tim and tammy

Sunday, May 06, 2007

neutropenic...

for those of you who were taking notes last time...you will remember that being neutropenic is a good thing but a scary thing. a person with a normal white blood cell count will have around 10,000 white blood cells to help fight off infections and stuff...once someone receives chemo the white count is supposed to drop. tim's white cell count is now 300. so...the chemo is doing what it is supposed to do but in the process it puts tim at high risk of getting an infection. we are now living in the world of "no germs" and "masks" and "purell".

tims stomach issues are finally getting a bit better. he has been able to keep some food in his system and has gotten back some of his color.

tims pain level is still up there in the higher levels. we have been getting IV pain medication everyday this week to help lessen the pain. even though the tumors seem to have shrunk some, the level of pain has not. we are meeting with the radiation doctor on monday to discuss trying pain intervention through radiation therapy. it would be in addition to the chemo, but may help with the shrinkage and pain levels a bit.

ashley is feeling better. on thursday night at soccer practice she "passed out" and scared the coach and athletic director so bad they called in the paramedics. we have been dealing with her a bit. friday we took her to the doctor and had her checked out and they ran tons of blood work...looking into possible anemia, low iron, low blood sugar, abnormal thyroid, unbalanced electolyes, or just plain 'ole being a 13 year old female who occasionally passes out.

hopefully tomorrow we will find out what is going on with ashley and meet with the radiation guys and set up the radiation appts. this week is a better week...only one soccer game and three softball games. today the twins are having a few school friends meeting them for an ice skating party (early birthday party). we really are trying to keep life in the dewalt household as normal as possible BUT tim will have to sit this one out (he is bumming because last year their birthday was the day before his transplant and he had just finished receiving his 14th chemo in a 5 day period-they came in to see their dad that day and it was a very scary sight). ashley had a ton of questions for me tonight...lots of "what if" questions. the older they get the more they want to know...and the older they get the more they understand. sometimes this is a good thing and sometimes it makes things harder. keep our girls in your prayers...it has been tough on them.

well it is 3am and i had best try to get some sleep.

thanks for checking in.

tim and tammy

Thursday, May 03, 2007

did you ever feel...

...that you must be on one of those "reality TV shows" and no one bothered to tell you?

that was the kind of day i had today. for those "elders" who read this blog i spent all day waiting for someone to pop out and say "smile. you are on candid camera" but that never happened so i guess i have to assume that this is LIFE.

it is late and i am exhausted so i am going to bed but i can be pretty certain that i will be dreaming tonight of some of the days events...soccer coaches, athletic directors, paramedics, school principals, ambulances, AMA's, softball games, hospital visits, out of state guests, and the list could go on and on and on...

everybody is doing OK...not great, but OK... tim has to go back to the hospital on friday morning to get a platelet transfusion and more fluids. ashley has to go back to the doctor on friday afternoon for some more health issues. (i will update on that as we know more).

keep praying.

thanks for checking in

tim and tammy

Wednesday, May 02, 2007

crappy days crappy nights

the best way to describe the last two days i guess. this time around he did great while in the hospital, but that 5th day of chemo really did a number on tim. we thought that when the tumors started shrinking the pain would lessen...but for some reason the pain has gotten worse and his stomach is such a mess that he can't keep the pain meds down.

we are making frequent trips to the "day hospital" for transfusion support and yesterday they gave him some IV fluids because he hasn't been able to drink very much.

one day at a time.

keep praying. mom (me) is busy with this whole cancer mess, getting new tires on the van this week, two soccer games this week, three softball games this week, remembering to feed the children and wash the uniforms, get meg back and forth to work, get in some driving time with meg and figuring out my work schedule. keep praying.

thanks for checking in.

tim and tammy

ps...for those of you wondering about ashley-on monday she was cleared to play soccer again and has started to talk again. this is a good thing.